Side Tracked by Money

As someone whose goal is to have my own business, it is very challenging not to get side tracked by an offer to make money doing something other than my passion. I know I struggle with this issue. Someone will recommend me for a certain project and feeling poor, I will accept.

This can throw a big interruption into my normal process of moving forward with my primary goals. It is very hard to turn down money for doing work that I am familiar with producing. Work that is not my primary passion has provided me with a roof over my head and food and cloths. Balancing these opportunities is challenging.

I cannot afford sometimes to say no, but I wonder sometimes what opportunity am I closing the door on in the work that I love. Time does not stop nor stay still for anyone. Ultimately, there is limited time. Focusing on what truly would move me forward in my passion would potentially pay off. This is where it takes discretion.

So, before you take the next opportunity that provides cold hard cash, measure the amount of and time and effort this would take you away from your passions primary goal? Is it worth being side tracked momentarily or will you lose momentum on a critical project that will pay off just in the future. If you can afford to say no to an opportunity that side tracks you, it would probably be the best choice. Of course, if the money is needed, well I think the decision is clear. Or, if the issue is you could use the money for your passion to move forward well I think that too provides clarity on what choice to make.

Again, the issue is to take time to acknowledge that all offers to make some money doing something that is not our passion needs consideration. I know that is where I need to focus. I am too quick to say yes sometimes. Please feel free to share what you do when offered money for work that you do not love to do.

Until tomorrow,
Mary Catherine George
LifeChoices Coach

Opportunity

If we keep our selves open we have the ability to see the potential for opportunities are all around. I love it when favorable circumstances come together and suddenly I am meeting new people and learning new information. I am amazed at how often this happens. I always see meeting someone new or learning new information as potential.

Potential. There is potential everwhere. It is so important to flexible in the process of accomplishing our goals. Life can be surprising and suddenly you are meeting someone who can offer you help or information you didn't know about just when you least expect it. I love it when I have been working on a project and less motivated than when I began, when suddenly from left field some really useful information or some person who can be instrumental just appears. How does this happen?

Now granted, if I didn't ask questions or happen to be investigating a topic or strike up conversation with strangers, I probably wouldn't discover some of these unexpected people or information. Synchronicity. I forget where I read about this, but these meaningful coincidences that appear when I am feeling down or less inspired. Suddenly, I find myself grinning, because the fresh air that comes flowing through me when this occurs in so inspiring. I feel that everything in the world has just handed me the biggest "YES!" you are on the right track. I feel validates when these unexpected opportunities arrive.

Some people say you can invite opportunity into your life. Which I believe is true. You can think and put it out into the universe what you need or would like, or you can visualize what you need to happen. I encourage some of my clients to keep track of these wonderful coincidences. Especially, when there seems to be quite a number of them happening.

Of course, once an opportunity presents itself, it is important to run with that energy and take action. Don't let fear hold you back. In fact, when opportunities show up it should help shake any fears up that you might have. Don't forget, fear can be a powerful enemy. I felt and seen fear slam the door shut on opportunity. If you have an opportunity show up, don't think! Just start taking action. Write, call, print whatever action needs to be taken to move you or your project forward. DO IT! Do not wait and think it over or contemplate what to do. Trust your inner spontaneous self to know what the best step is and just take it.

So, what do you do when opportunity shows up and knocks on your door? How do you take action? Please share your comments. We all can benefit from the many ways that people work to attain their dreams.

Until tomorrow,
Mary Catherine George

LifeChoices Coach

Fighting Frustration

Sometimes situations are just out of my control. I know this but
I find it challenging to embrace it at first. Like today, it is hot and the humidity is getting to me. The projects that I am working on are overwhelming and I just don't feel like I am making any progress.

Then just to add another boulder on to my shoulders, the power goes out. Frozen. Nothing can be done. I am totally powerless to do anything. In the moment it is startling and you feel like - HEY! Why is this happening?

I find myself suddenly laughing and thinking that God must have heard my secret prayer. Because the power has shut down for an unknown reason, everything MUST stop. There is no deadline. No expectation. I am released from my momentary misery. Of course, I will be dealing with deadlines and headaches tomorrow, but for now, it is sweet relief.

I wish I could plan this unexpected interruption automatically when things become piled up. It would be a nice reminder that ultimately, I am not in control. I must surrender and be humbled by powers greater than me. I love being reminded of how truly minor the issues can be. I will not be remembered for how well I did my job or how punctual I was with projects. I will be remembered for how I treated people and how I interacted with my family, friends, colleagues and others. Truly that is what counts in the life.

So, no matter how important a project is or planning or deadlines are, keeping what truly counts in mind is critical. Acknowledging that it is people that matter and how we are in this world. Remembering this will always keep frustration at bay.

Please share with how you cope with frustration and the tools you employ. We all encounter moments of frustration and how we handle them is important. Allowing frustration to turn you into a grump or discourage you from pursuing your dream would be sad indeed.

Until tomorrow,
Mary Catherine George
LifeChoices Coach

TAKING FLIGHT

There are several types of feelings that I experience when I am embarking on working with a new project or a new client. I am often excited and uncertain. Two very conflicting feelings. All because there is no way to determine the outcome. I deeply want every project or coaching client to blossom, but there is no guarantee.

We can never tell how a project will come to life. This is why I love improvisation. As frightening as it can be, it is also exhilarating to see the inspiration and focus that can happen when I just let go and empty my mind. It is startling to see what can be created. Similar to what I experience when I am writing this blog.

Trusting our self to know what is the direction or process that is needed is somehow not something we do instinctively. I am always second guessing. If I just would stay the course or go with my first reaction it would have saved time and money.

Using imagination and creativity to work with my clients and projects allows them to truly take flight. I don't insist on trying to control the outcome but rather await to see what will be revealed. Each endeavor has its own voice and direction. I cannot force it to be something it isn't. This was an amazing realization for me. Integrating this attitude into your work process can help you stay motivated and excited about what will happen next. Now that is what I call surprising.

Creating a vision for our projects or clients is inspiring, but don't get bogged down by feelings of indecisiveness or holding onto some preconceived vision. Allow your work to soar towards where it wants to be. Who knows you might be pleasantly surprised and get a result you wouldn't have expected.

Please post your comments on how you stay open to your imagination and creativity when working on a project.

Until tomorrow,
Mary Catherine George

LifeChoices Coach

Multitasking Multiple Projects

I know that many of you are like me. You are managing many projects, plus families and careers. The number of things to address in a day can be over the top. I know, I sometimes feel that I need a Global Positioning System tool just so I know where and what I am doing and what is next. I definitely cannot keep everything in my head.

The tool I use consists of a notebook that has 2 large grids. These grids list all the projects and items to accomplish. I started doing this because of the research work I do. I work with these grids each day. I focus on 4 projects at a time and only 4 personal life pursuits. I review them each weekend and make changes and updates. I would never be capable of doing what I do without this tracking tool. Each project has its own box with time lines and dates and to do's. In the back of this notebook, I have a section for tracking new ideas. It is there that I keep track of creative ideas and projects that I would like to pursue in the future. I look at these once per month just to reassure myself that I haven't lost them or to see how I can place them into the "now" tool.

The other thing that I do during my weekly review, is journal after each week what were the barriers and successes that happened. This truly is the best part. I can really tell what holds me back and actions help. Highlighting how projects are going and I how I work each week truly is a revelation at times. What can be even more supportive is when I share this with my coaching group.

Painful and powerful are the words that come to mind when I think about reviewing the process of growth in my life. When I see how my actions either move me forward or hold me back, it is very clear about what to do. In the moment it isn't very clear but in retrospect, I can see how different choices were possible and perhaps to consider different actions in the coming week. Especially, if I see repetitive behavior that doesn't serve me.

So, how do you keep track of everything you are doing and evaluating your process and progress? I cannot tell you how important it is to look back and get a big picture view. The information that I get when I do that is telling. It tells me to take a few things off the grid, take a deep breath and it isn't always necessary to get everything "I think" needs to be done or when to reward myself. Getting caught up in the frenzy of the efforts to work on multiple projects can be detrimental, but not if you have a system to help you.

Please share how you track and manage your busy life. It would be great to see how many people do different things. Sharing keeps us learning.

Mary Catherine George

LifeChoices Coach

Disappointment

It is difficult to embrace disappointment. I know when I have

planned a project and worked very hard to have the desired outcome, which is what we ALL want, it can be crushing to not have our expectation met. When we are passionate about what we do, and the end results don't appear it, can be more than disappointing, it can feel like a crushing blow to the heart.

Every cell of my body screams why? It is troubling to experience a disappointment in the plans that we make. Or to put yourself out there as an artist and you are not understood or appreciated or the other problem "no sales". We all want to earn money at what we love.

When this happens with me, I take a disappointment day. I allow myself to really experience all the miserable feelings of discouragement and rejection. I vent and experience in my mind perhaps, all the reasons why or write a journal page bemoaning my fate of not getting my desired result. Not allowing me to feel these feelings doesn't work for me. I need to acknowledge all the work and struggle that didn't succeed. Sometimes it doesn't take a whole day, but it can take a good half a day.

Once, I can get past my feelings of disappointment, then it is time to step back and embrace a perspective that will allow me to see what different directions or adjustments need to be addressed. Sometimes, if this is the fourth or fifth disappointment for a expected outcome, I need to determine if this is truly the path to keep pursuing with all my energy. I always like the idea of climbing up a ladder to see if I have it placed against the right wall.

When I am in the process of what I am doing it is very difficult to see where things could be fixed, adjusted or moved into a different direction. This is a time when I know I either need to stop working on that project for a bit or to get a trusted someone to give me a reality check. I am not one to keep hitting myself over the head, just to keep doing that over and over and expecting a different outcome.

One thing is clear, if we keep doing the same thing we typically get the same results. Change is required, perhaps even a MUST if we are repeatedly disappointed in the pursuit of our passion. Some measure of moving forward, even a tiny bit, needs to happen. It can be very discouraging to stay the course of your passion, if you continue to get zero results from your efforts. Perhaps you need to ask as many people as you can to get feedback or take a long break so that you can see your project with fresh eyes. What do you do when you have a disappointment occur with your pursuits? Do you throw in the towel or do you find a way to continue? Please feel free to share.

Until tomorrow,
Mary Catherine George

LifeChoicescoach

Creativity and Inspiration

I sometimes feel that I am overwhelmed with creative and inspiring ideas. Inside my head, I feel that I need to take action on all of this energy. I have learned that if I lose track of what I am currently working on, I end up with several projects all in the middle or some just with a beginning and NONE of them completed.

It is challenging to postpone taking action on ideas that pop into your mind or that suddenly pull on the heart strings of your inspiration. I know for me I need to do something to acknowledge the wonderful feeling these creative and inspiring ideas give me.

What to do? How do I stay focused on the current project that at one time I felt those first stirrings of creativity and inspiring energy? I have learned that when I find myself in this predicament, I make a decision, but first I ask myself the following questions:

Does one of the new creative ideas wow me so much that I need to take action now?

Can I just place these ideas in my creativity book and come back to them?

Can I channel this inspiring energy to my current project to complete it so I can move on?

It is important to keep a book of your creative or inspiring thoughts. This way you can make decisions of what is most important. You can tell yourself "Hey, I have a special place that I can keep track of those ideas so I don't feel like they will get lost." Also, some of my ideas that I am crazy for in the moment, after some time they don't feel like the right fit.

So, the next time you have ideas filling your head with inspiration and take you off track, take a moment and make a decision on where you want to focus. Is there one idea you just can't take your mind off? Does this idea capture your attention or can you steer that inspiring energy to your current project? Please share with me how you deal with your inspiring moments that fill you with tons of creative ideas.

Until tomorrow,
Mary Catherine George
LifeChoices Coach

Always a New Day

Thank goodness there is always a new day. Some days just don't go the way you have planned. The ability to let it go, take a deep breath and accept that tomorrow is around the corner is a wonderful tool.

Today was that kind of day. Everything that I had on the list was interrupted by things that required my attention. Sometimes that just happens. I recognized this early in the day and just allowed myself to agree that I would at least accomplish one thing, inform others that we would have to wait on some additional items, took a deep breath and moved on.

It is in these moments that holding on to the discomfort that is being created is just not worth the effort. I find that these are the times that I just smile and embrace my humanity. I look for every way to smile and reach out to others. Accepting sometimes what a day brings is empowering. It is amazing how once I accept the reality of the day not really going as I planned that I feel great. Relaxed and calm, I just roll with the activities of the day. Today, I even decided to just leave early. Yes, there were so many "shoulds" that I needed to address, but in the long run these are self imposed "shoulds" and nothing will be totally wrecked because I chose to leave early.

It felt great to just chill in the beautiful weather and the wind was amazing. I knew then it was the knowledge that tomorrow is available to address some of the things that I had to leave behind today. Nothing was in crisis. I didn't have to stress because there was just no real reason.

I am not sure why this day was just one where other things took over. I believe there is a greater universe that knows where and what I need to be doing. I want to look for those opportunities of synchronicity. Perhaps, all of the disorganization of today is really an opportunity that is awaiting me. I suddenly felt excited.

Excited about what may happen in the next couple of days. Would there be an unexpected breakthrough or an opportunity that seemed far in the future will show up much sooner that I thought? Turning our thoughts to the positive is a challenge, but WOW do I feel fantastic when I exercise this ability.

Sure, it is helpful to vent. Put your timer on for 1-3 minutes and go for it. Even ask a friend or colleague to give their full attention to your rant. It actually feels great to know you have to go all out in your ranting. You might find filling 3 minutes challenging. Once the rant/vent is over, Turn your thoughts and attitude over to the positive thoughts and feelings of what could be waiting for you around the corner.

Okay until tomorrow,
Mary Catherine George
LifeChoices Coach

Making Mistakes

Making a mistake can be an awful experience. I know that I have suffered when I have made mistakes in the past. Typically, it is because I haven't stopped to really listen or understand what is expected or what is being communicated.

I learned this lesson in a very difficult way. I learned that sometimes when I communicate with others I use language that can be overly optimistic. Others could perceive what was being said as definite. I believed that my statements included language that offered hope, possibilities and validation. Unfortunately, my statements were perceived as offering specific expectations which I don't necessarily have control over. It was only after a friend of mine pointed out this issue when I was discussing my confusion over this miscommunication.

It was during this discussion with my friend that I became aware that my emphatic and positive statements were misconstrued and misinterrpreted to mean that I could provide definite outcomes. I was confused as to why this happened. With my friends assistance, we reviewed the comments and statements I had made. They were heartfelt, they could imply that I did had some perceived power to impact an outcome. That I was so hopeful in my language choices that it gave the impression that the person involved didn't have to do anything and they would be expecting exactly what I was hoping would happen.

WOW!! This was truly an eye opener for me. I had no idea that my offering hope and encouragement would somehow give an impression that the outcome of what I was saying would definitely happen. Now, truly I do believe that all things are possible, but some things do not work out as we would like them. I was blamed for the outcome never happening. The expectations of the other person were crushed.

Clearly NOT something I would intend to happen to anyone. Now, I need to think through statements of encouragement and possibility. I need to temper them with language choices that don't imply that somehow I have anything to do with any specific outcome. This felt horrible to realize about myself. My intentions are good but perhaps how I phrased the support was not the best.

Self evaluation can be difficult. Now that I am aware of this issue and it isn't pleasant to know I have disappointed people, I can seek to change. Awareness is the greatest tool for creating change. No matter how unpleasant, knowing that you have friends and colleagues or a coach who will give you direct information, no matter how hard to hear, about how you are doing is wonderful. It take courage to ask for feedback and to receive it.

When did you become aware of some behavior or attitude that didn't serve you? When was the last time you stepped back and took a self evaluation of where you are and consider what things could be improved? No matter how difficult it is the growth is definitely work all the discomfort.

Until tomorrow,
Mary Catherine George

LifeChoices Coach

Dreams!

Sailing into our dreams!! I wish it was a guaranteed smooth ride. I guess that is why I associate sailing with the process of making my dream life a reality.

I had never sailed before until two summers ago. When I think of what it takes to sail it means constantly being engaged in the activity of sailing. I could never stop giving my attention to the position of the sail, the steering and maintaining a position between the buoys. If I became distracted, in no time at all my sail would deflate or I drifted off course or I lost track of where we were. I had never realized what looked so beautiful took so much effort.

The process of sailing and pursuing our dreams takes more effort than we realize. To sail means to constantly have your attention engaged on all the sailing activities required to keep the boat moving. You cannot let up for one moment. I truly loved the experience that I had learning to sail, but I will never think again that it is simple activity. It was much more complex than I had realized.

The same is true for our dreams. Moving our dream forward takes persistent effort. No matter how small the movement. Staying connected at all times to our dreams so that we don't drift in the wrong direction. It is so easy to get side tracked by issues and activities that are not connected to our passion or dream for our life.

Do you actively do a small step each day towards your dream? Have you found yourself side tracked by a project or work that has consumed your attention? I sometimes feel that I can't identify what small step needs to be done. I often make a list and see how many little steps can these list items be broken into. Plus, scheduling "sacred" time each day that is mine and mine alone allows me to give my attention to theses dream tasks. Including these two daily things are challenging. Many times I am tempted to delay my sacred time or overlook the small steps I need to do today. As a reminder, I look at the picture of me sailing and I remember how easy it was to go adrift and to get off course. I want to stay on course for my dreams.

How do you help yourself stay on course? What key things help you move forward in pursuit of your life dream. Please share, I know everyone truly could benefit knowing what others do to support action towards our dream life.


Until tomorrow,
Mary Catherine George
LifeChoices Coach

Summer Sleepiness

What is it about the summertime that makes me want to just find a hammock somewhere and take a nap? During the summer, I struggle with feeling sleepy. If the room is warm or it is warm outside and I am suddenly cooled off by air conditioning, I am overcome with this sensation of a desperate need to lie down and take a nap.

Believe me this is not a convenient problem during the summer. I struggle to stay awake and concentrate on the issues at hand. It is also extremely embarrassing to find myself overwhelmed with that feeling when I am in a meeting. Rarely do I have that feeling when working with a client, but still, I am afraid that it might show up.

This summer, I have decided to stop fighting the feeling. I am going to shut my office door and close my eyes for a brief moment and just give into the feelings. Perhaps, this will help me. In fact, I find that to continue to fight something that my body is craving is a useless fight. The body at some point will win. Plus, the entire time I am struggling with the sleepiness, I am useless.

So, I will become a mini-napper during the summer and see if this approach somehow helps me, or perhaps I just need to take a very long vacation where I indulge into a lot of daily napping. The Europeans definitely do have a nice idea about the afternoon siesta. Plus, my mother is strong believer in the cat nap. Maybe this is something I inherited.

Meanwhile, is there something that you struggle with physically that just persists no matter what you have tried. Please share some of these issues. We may not find complete solutions but perhaps a few tools that will make them less problematic. So, I am going to close my door now and have a mini-nap. I will report.

Until tomorrow,
Mary Catherine George
LifeChoices Coach

Success Follow Up

Just a quick note to follow up this mornings thoughts about success. Here I am at the end of my day, and not much of what I wanted to accomplish is completed. Even though this is the case, I feel good because many of the things that did get done were very important. I guess that is why success can feel like a small plant pushing its way through the cold hard soil - difficult.

Today, while difficult, I feel the sensation of finding success in addressing those items that needed attention. I am glad that I can look at the beauty of what I want to achieve which is ahead of me as an inspiration to continue to forge ahead. I hope you too can look at the things you wish to accomplish in your life with a feeling of inspiration and motivation. If not, perhaps these projects or goals are not your passion. I know for me to continue to work so hard, it is because this is my passion.

Passion to accomplish what I love, to entertain through singing and improv, to motivate others to pursue their dreams and to continue to seek to understand the human condition.

Until to tomorrow my friend,
Mary Catherine George

LifeChoices Coach -

The Road to Success

It does feel sometimes that we are always just a short distance away from becoming successful. If x were happening or if y would come through we would definitely arrive at the destination of success.

Unfortunately, success is not so simple. Nor is it something that once accomplished we just sit on the couch and enjoy the rewards. Success comes in small handfuls and the more we can rejoice in the smallness of success the more we will find our self feeling satisfied and happy.

Each day we begin with a specific set of items we would like to accomplish by the end of the day. If we set about completing these items and at the end of the day these things are done - HEY - the day was a success! Simple it sounds. Right? I know for me I get it into my head that if I achieve a certain amount of money or recognition then I would know that I was successful. Is this true? NO!

I am successful each day that I arrive at my job, accomplish most of the work for the day, work with clients to increase awareness and promote what I do for a living. On top of this, I am cleaning a home, looking after 4 dachshunds, a boyfriend and a dear friend who has a chronic illness. I often need to remind myself that as far as success goes, things are going well.

I am not sure why the idea of success gets twisted in my mind. Whether it is the expectations of others or of myself that I get down about why I haven't achieved some specific ideal of success. I guess for me I believe I would be allowed to rest, but that is a fiction as well. Resting is not something that is done after completing a project. Maybe momentarily, but I am a true believer in the idea that if you are not pushing to change and grow, you will be decaying and static.

One of my favorite quotes is from Louisa May Alcott an American Writer, (1832-1888):

"Far away in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see the beauty, believe in them and try to follow where they lead."

I look at my dreams daily and work towards them with each small step I take. How do you look at your success towards your dreams? How do you cope with feelings of success? Please do share it would be great to know how many ways we all handle the challenge of working towards success.

Until tomorrow,
Mary Catherine George
LifeChoices Coach

Overwhelmed and Suffering

I want to be like this gold fish and jump into another bowl Abandon ship!! Truly, because of my inability to say no or unwillingness to train other people to do some of the jobs that I manage, I find myself overwhelmed.

This has been a chronic problem all my life. Partially, because I love doing a lot of things. I have multiple projects that I love!! Research in chronic pain, coaching, improv, singing and the list goes on and on. I struggle to maintain balance.

I am not sure why sometimes things become a tangle. Is it because I have too many projects that I love that I cannot prioritize or that sometimes I "should" make the hard decision and say NO to a project that I love being involved with. This is a task, I find nearly impossible. Of course, if I could find the ability to say NO, I wouldn't find myself overwhelmed and suffering.

Now to dig myself out. I am giving myself this evening and tomorrow to really look at all that I do and struggle with the issues of what truly are projects I love, cannot live without. I know that by doing this, I will find away to give away some of the duties that are on my plate to others and free up time for me to devote to the projects that I love.

That is the problem, I sometimes believe that if I don't participate now, I never will. This is truly faulty thinking on my part. I know that there will come a time that I can participate in projects that I love but cannot be a priority right now. If not, then the projects that I am doing that I deeply love deserve my undivided time and energy devoted to them.

Do you find yourself overwhelmed and pushing yourself to struggle through? How do you stop and recover from the situation? Please share you ideas on how to keep from being overwhelmed or to take charge.

Until tomorrow,
Mary Catherine George

LifeChoices Coach

Balancing Time

Finding a balance in our schedule that includes tasks we enjoy and those that are necessary is a challenge. Scheduling is a tedious and troublesome necessity. Making sure that I have set aside the appropriate amount of time for specific tasks and meetings is not an easy chore for me.

My enthusiasm when I am working with clients and colleagues creates delays. It is very hard for me to work with someone and accomplish it in an hour. I typically have sessions that last 80 or 90 minutes because I just can't seem to accomplish what "in the moment" needs to be addressed. Also, it seems unfortunate to just stop because a clock says so.

Even when I am mindful of that 60 minute boundary approaching, I resent having to stop mid-thought or idea just because of a time boundary. It can be critical to keep the momentum and the flow of energy and ideas going or at least come to a stopping point. Balancing the time, managing the discussion or the flow of work is can be strategic to how the day flows.

This is key connect the task to the amount of time that seems appropriate. Sometimes it is better to design time for activities in large sections and then choose activities or discussions that will accommodate a 60 minute boundary. Becoming sensitive to what amount of time is needed to move a project forward or to discuss issues with a client can make or break how the day progresses.

I know that I am learning that 60 minutes will never be my boundary for working with clients. I enjoy the exchange and readily acknowledge that there is an arrival and warm up time that is present, even if the session is held on the phone. So most of my client sessions last 60 min. and then wrap up for 5-10 min. If necessary we do mutually agree to be aware of the time so that we respect each others need to maintain our schedules.

When I am working on projects, I can easily get lost in the moment of creativity and suddenly lose an hour or two. I have learned I MUST put on a timer so that I don't lose track of time and the other items scheduled.

How do you manage to balance your time and your creative enthusiasm? I would love for you to share your ideas and tools for keeping track of time and time managers that make keeping a schedule easy.

Until tomorrow,
Mary Catherine George

LifeChoices Coach

Connections

The Internet is a wonderful thing. It was a lesson to me just how critical it is to what I do in my life. Having access to the Internet is something I need to consider when I travel or I need to make a different choices.

The past several days, I was down South in a small town that doesn't have a cyber-cafe. YIKES!! My mother's dial up connection was definitely not cutting it for me to do what I needed for my work on the Internet. So, I was without connection plain and simple. I couldn't check my e-mail, or write the blog or do my normal research for my various interests or the vast list of tasks that I complete on the computer using the Internet.

This was a humbling experience. I realized I stay connected to numerous projects and people through the Internet. Suddenly faced without this connection - there was a huge empty space in my daily schedule. What to do? Well, I decided it is better to take advantage of this time and make a deeper connection with myself and to re-connect with my family and friends.

Writing and reading more and spending time with myself was truly rewarding. I felt a surge of creativity that was nice. Also, re-connecting with my family gave me a new perspective on my past relationships with them. I was more willing to see how some of my behavior may have kept a distance between us.

Of course, when I could re-connect with the Internet - I did feel an internal sigh of relief. It also made me realize that I do need to walk away from the computer and make phones calls or coffee dates with friends. Somehow the computer is not as satisfying as hearing a friendly voice sigh in relief or laugh in kind over some shared viewpoint or seeing a face smile or nod in a silent moment of human understanding.

So, consider how much time do you spend either at work or doing solitaire activities? Finding time to connect with friends and family is critical to creating a life that is full. Even if I do feel they somehow intrude on the ideas and projects that I have planned. It is a welcomed intrusion and probably one that is much needed.

Until tomorrow,
Mary Catherine George

LifeChoicesCoach

My first feelings were a sense of not being responsible.

Getting Started

I always find that getting started on anything is the most challenging. Taking that first step or making the first move, we somehow finds ways to convince our self there is still time in the future.

Unfortunately, we need to overcome whatever it is that we do so that we can make first steps. Recognizing, if it is fear, or a lack of clarity that creates an atmosphere of delay. Sometimes, it is just an issue of organization or not being sure you want to truly commit the time and effort on a project, or it could be the project itself, has emotions for you that create a feeling of hesitancy.

Whatever it is, finding a method, process or a special place that allows you to take first steps is critical. Many a project or concept has languished in the mind to never see the light of day because of never having a first step taken.

It is challenging to recognize this issue because it can be subtle. I know that I can be very clever about delaying a project that needs my attention with very good and real reasons not to start. For me organizing and having a special place are the criteria that have most helped me get started. Also, have an end in sight, or an idea that if something specific happens that, it may be a project that I need to give up.

Above all, recognizing my fear factor around a project or task is critical as well. I always try to determine how afraid I am with the scale of 1-10 with 1 being none and 10 be the most fear I can imagine. If a project or task has a huge fear factor, I know that I need support and a reward lanned when I start. If the fear is small, I schedule time and reward for the project or task. I know that scheduling time and rewarding myself helps me take those first steps.

So the next time you find yourself not taking the first step on a project ask yourself the following questions:

1) Have you organized and determined where to start?

2) Have you set aside time in your schedule that will give the project attention?

3) Do you have some guidelines that will help you determine if the project is still a priority?

4) Do you feel nervous or fearful about taking the first step in a project - rate your fear?

5) Have you planned a reward or support around the task or project that is equal to your efforts?

Respecting the courage it takes to make a first step in a new direction is extremely important. I know that the new ideas and projects I have are like infants. They need support, care and my undivided attention. Share your experiences around taking that first step towards a project or task. Everyone is unique and we could all benefit from sharing.

Thanks,
Mary Catherine George

LifeChoices Coach

Photos courtesy of www.snakenationpress.org

Staying Up All Night

Staying up all night playing cards was a blast. I don't know where the energy came from. It was fun to share and get to know family that I don't know through this game of playing cards. It was quite silly at times and created some great memories.

Sometimes being reasonable and sticking to your plans does need to be thrown to the wind. I don't do it often but life is about allowing spontaneity to throw all cares out the window. Of course, I am paying for that carefree attitude now because I am trying to wake up, my brain is sluggish, my mind is unclear and I am struggling because I am out of my "norm" of behaviour.

Not a terrible thing. I know that we can't always be focusing on some of our personal and professional goals. It is great to just let go and be carefree about my schedule. I am still on target with some of my work, but some of the items, I just need to set aside until later.

It can be fun and an eye opener about my own hold that I have on myself. What I observed last night was as I tried to hold onto what I expected of myself the less the focus was on the moment. If I let go of the thoughts about my own expectations the more I was present in the moment and it was fun and carefree. We lost track of time and suddenly it was 6am. I just let go and was in the moment which felt great. I really enjoyed it and look forward to perhaps doing more in the future.

So often, I carry a mental "to do" list in my head of what I am expecting to get done or work on. This can be useful but exhausting when you are away on vacation or visiting family. Letting go entirely of this "to do" list is not useful, but allowing myself the opportunity to just so "what the heck" feels very freeing.

I know a lot of people live their lives from moment to moment, which is great! Somehow, I don't know if this would work for me. I need to keep track of where I have been, where I am now and where I want to be. If I don't I am not sure if I will get where I want to be. I know that some of the members in my goals group feel the same. They have experienced not remembering what happened for an entire year. It is difficult to find a balance of observing our lives. Perhaps we can share and explore how we stay in touch with our self while we live our life.

Well off to some more family time.

Mary Catherine

LifeChoices Coach

Expectations

Gathering the entire family together to celebrate the unique quality of what everyone brings and shares can be exciting. I come from a very, very large family. It can be nice, but it can be overwhelming.

I have mentioned that I live a very different lifestyle from almost everyone in my family. The expectation is that I bring my talents to share immediately at this family gathering.

I enjoy and dread this experience. I am sure you as well have some joy and dread about your family celebrations. Meeting the upspoken expectations of others can be challenging. As an artist, I perform in a particular way that is quite different then what my family recalls. They remember a young girl who sang at weddings and funerals. So, of course, they want me to repeat this so that we can all have a shared experience both one of remembering and one that keeps me in the delegated place in the collective mind of my family.

Meanwhile, who I am as an artist is far removed from what I was twenty + years ago. Expectations are a funny thing. They are beliefs that are focused on the future. I also, have unspoken expectations for myself. My unspoken expectations are: 1) "I need to eat healthy when I am with my famdily." I need to look successful - whatever that means. I must check in with my work while I am with my family. As I started to think about this issue, it made me realize that maybe these were not realistic expectations.

Expectations can be traps. Especially, if they are ones we don't readily recognize. Have you thought about what you expect from yourself when you are in a relationship? at work? with your family? I know my sister has an expectation of herself to never leave the kitchen dirty. My brother that he can never say "no" to a patient who needs his help. Cetain expectations can be a good thing, we expect the best effort from ourselves and others. Does this always happen? I believe giving this issue definitely deserves some thought.

Perhaps, my expectations are not realistic. Or maybe they need to be more outrageous or connected to my dreams. Perhaps, I shouldn't have any expectations.. sometimes it is useful to just be in the moment to allow access to opportunities that we wouldn't see because we are focused on expected outcomes. Hmm, perhaps letting go of expectations could be freeing and create a new experience. Maybe this time instead of meeting the expectations of others, I will compromise and somehow find some middle ground. Anything is possible, if I am willing to choose to stand for what I want for myself. How about you??

Please share if you have struggled with either self expectations or the expectations of others.

Thanks,
Mary Catherine George

LifeChoices Coach

A Southern Slow Down

It is amazing when you leave where you are everyday and visit some place. Your view changes. Here I am now in the middle of the deep South with bright sun, humid air and intense green trees and plants every where. Everyday in New York, I am surrounded by concrete, dirt, huge buildings, time pressures and the constant mass of people.

It is so helpful to leave the city behind. Here I am with fresh eyes getting a nice view of where I am with my life. I shared with my mother that it is like there is more oxygen here and you can really take a slow deep breath. Visiting my family has always been difficult. My family is very large and the life I live is extremely different from almost anyone. It is challenging to share what I do because we just don't have much in common.

Most of my family have houses and children and live a life that is generally full of the things that most people understand. My life on the other hand is that of an artist, researcher and coach consultant. This involves rehearsals, performances, science, medicine, coaching clients and writing. A good deal of my time is spent either alone or with groups of people doing these same activities. Yes, there are discussions about children and home life, but they are all a bit unusual.

I have become accustomed to not sharing about what I do. It is just easier to create general statements that share a sample of what my life contains. During family discussions, I am reminded of how different I live. I can't join in discussions about children or maintaining a home. I do find myself relaxing and that time is moving slower and wondering what my life would be like if I was still living here. It is nice to stand in this place to recognize how I have chosen to live.

Yes, I appreciate very much my southern roots. I appreciate the silence, nature and the sounds of the train in the background. It is great to visit. Being here at home does renew my spirit, but I also find myself yearning for the individuality of my lifestyle. It is challenging to recognize that the life I have is not what most people embrace. I do not have a home, I rent a small (very small) space in Manhattan, which for most people would be absurd when they hear the cost. I live without a car and have four dachshunds which I adore. I either perform or attend improv theater almost every week and sing everyday. I work in medical research and coach clients to invite choices that bring them closer to living the life they love.

When is the last time that you visited home or went someplace that gave you a new view on your life? how are you choosing what your life contains? Please share if you would. If you haven't done something maybe it is time to schedule a time away from your routine. I know being away now, makes me aware of those things I want to keep in my life and those things I want to let go. Distance makes things so clear.

Until tomorrow,
Mary Catherine George
LifeChoices Coach

photo courtesy of www.snakenationpress.org

Tomorrow comes way too soon!

So, it is later in the day. It was good to spend the time to get started on the work I need to address.. Of course, there were some barriers, but what I like to do is turn those barriers over to the creative dreamer inside of myself.

You probably are wondering what am I talking about. Well, I believe that if you tell yourself, that your dreams will figure out a place where you are stuck, pretty much a solution appears in my dreams.

I cannot tell you how many creative ideas and solutions have just appeared in my dreams.

Is there something that you feel unclear about or need some new creative energy around? Well, put the focus on your dreams. Tell yourself tonight you will dream a solution or envision a new way or clear a new path for whatever it is that appears to be a barrier. Please let me know if you do this. I would love to have some comments about your experiences..

So, I am heading to bed asking my dreams to show me the way.

Until!
Mary Catherine George

LifeChoices Coach

Refueling

Sunday is the day we all want to gather our energy, focus and reconnect with where we are headed for the next week. If we wait until Monday morning, having any direction for our week can easily get off track.

Today, I just woke up really feeling like @$#&!! You fill in the four letter word. I wanted to abandon ship. Do nothing, think nothing and just give into this feeling of yuck. Finding energy felt like the boy with the cables to his head.. "Please don't!!"

Do you feel like this sometimes? Abandoning ship. You have lost the purpose that lies behind the actions you are taking. I know I am feeling that way. This is when I find a gentle way of nudging myself back to the tasks that need to be addressed.

Like today, I am avoiding the work that I know must be done so that Monday and the remainder of the week will be constructive. So, I am choosing to do what I love to do.. write here in the blog. This is a gentle way of getting me in the direction of where I need to go.

So, if there are items that you are avoiding that need your attention, sometime starting with something that you enjoy and then heading into the items that aren't as pleasant and then trading off can be a way working through this feeling.

I guess it is like holding a carrot out in front of me. I have taken a bite and know I can have more as I get those items done that I am not as inspired to do. So, if you are not feeling motivated or lack a sense of purpose today, try doing something you enjoy and trading off after 30 -45 minutes and tackling those tasks you don't enjoy as much. I know this always helps me get into the spirit.

At the end of Sunday, I hope to report to you tomorrow just how well I was able to refuel my task items and have a plan for Monday. Keeping it simple and gentle is always the way to go when it comes to making change in my life. How can you keep things simple or gentle for you? Please feel free to share. I would love to hear comments on how you manage to address items or tasks that you find difficult.

Until!

Mary Catherine George

LifeChoices Coach

Friendships

Friendships can be challenging when we introduce new activities or changes in our behavior into our life. Friends can be difficult accepting a change in you or your friendship.

I know because, I haven't spoken to a very dear friend of mine for over a year. Today is her birthday. Yesterday, I made the decision to reach out to her in an e-mail. Not communicating wasn't intentional. Perhaps, it was more my need to have some distance from the friendship we once had. Partly, because a great deal of change is happening in my life.

If you have friends who are having a hard time understanding the changes you are making, don't offer support and critic the process you are exploring, create some distance in that friendship. You need the space to develop or engage yourself in the process of change and maybe your friend needs the space because it just is too hard to be available to you.

Often our friendships are built on history and sharing time where we connect with what is familiar. When we introduce change into the scenario it can make your friendship feel disjointed. Some friends can accept and embrace changes but others cannot. It is up to you to decide how you want to engage your friends in your process of self discovery and change.

Perhaps, discussing the changes you are exploring to one or two friends to test the water. If there is any sign of negative talk you know this friend is someone you need to take a break in spending time with them during this period. Other friends can offer you support and encouragement, but I recommend going slowly and sharing small information at first.

Change can be a fragile time within our self. We don't need our friends tearing down what we have struggled so hard to build. Tread lightly and go slowly. After some time and you have developed strong muscles of change you can start engaging in communicating with certain friends and you will see why you were friends in the first place.. I know I have with my dear friend. We both just needed some breathing room.

Until tomorrow,
Mary Catherine George

LifeChoices Coach

Summer Time

Managing our time during the summer months can be a bit of a challenge. Mentally vacation mode is upon us and sometimes there is nothing we can do. Our body and mind scream to have a break from the routine.

It is important that we don't lose momentum with the things we are focusing on in our lives just because suddenly it is vacation time. You probably wonder why I am even discussing this.

Sometimes, we revert back to our school days mentality that hey, whatever we have been giving our time to come June we abandon all consideration of what we are pursuing. This might be useful for a week or two or a long weekend, but we need to be careful it doesn't become an entire summer.

Often we are pursuing a new job, or focusing on personal growth, or developing a new interest or refining how we approach our lives.. don't allow your process to become mush now that summer has arrived.

Perhaps, during the summer back off on the more difficult tasks or issues you are addressing. Go slower, focus on one or two tasks per day or per week. Whatever the compromise is come September you will be much more satisfied with how your life choices are shaping up. If you abandon everything then in the Fall you will hardly know what you were working towards.

So, I encourage you now to take this first weekend of June to develop a plan of how you will stay the course while incorporating well deserved vacation time.

Sincerely,
Mary Catherine George
LifeChoices Coach