Friendships

Friendships can be challenging when we introduce new activities or changes in our behavior into our life. Friends can be difficult accepting a change in you or your friendship.

I know because, I haven't spoken to a very dear friend of mine for over a year. Today is her birthday. Yesterday, I made the decision to reach out to her in an e-mail. Not communicating wasn't intentional. Perhaps, it was more my need to have some distance from the friendship we once had. Partly, because a great deal of change is happening in my life.

If you have friends who are having a hard time understanding the changes you are making, don't offer support and critic the process you are exploring, create some distance in that friendship. You need the space to develop or engage yourself in the process of change and maybe your friend needs the space because it just is too hard to be available to you.

Often our friendships are built on history and sharing time where we connect with what is familiar. When we introduce change into the scenario it can make your friendship feel disjointed. Some friends can accept and embrace changes but others cannot. It is up to you to decide how you want to engage your friends in your process of self discovery and change.

Perhaps, discussing the changes you are exploring to one or two friends to test the water. If there is any sign of negative talk you know this friend is someone you need to take a break in spending time with them during this period. Other friends can offer you support and encouragement, but I recommend going slowly and sharing small information at first.

Change can be a fragile time within our self. We don't need our friends tearing down what we have struggled so hard to build. Tread lightly and go slowly. After some time and you have developed strong muscles of change you can start engaging in communicating with certain friends and you will see why you were friends in the first place.. I know I have with my dear friend. We both just needed some breathing room.

Until tomorrow,
Mary Catherine George

LifeChoices Coach